….right now. Yesterday morning I weighed in. The damage wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be, sadly that seemed to alleviate some pressure and led to a McDonalds lunch. I wasn’t even hungry!
I’m not sure what prompted it to be honest but I’ve put the scales away and after seeing 233.1 I really hope to see some more loss this week. Earlier in the year I said I wanted to be at 199 by the end of the year. That is pretty ambitious at this stage, I’ve not loss that much in an entire year last year but it will put me on track to be nearly at goal by the Triathlon next year.
I’ve been overwhelmed the last few weeks, overwhelmed by how difficult it can be to lose weight, to control my urges and say no. I read something recently that said that 3/4 of people who lose significant weight gain it back again, 1/3 of them will actually end up heavier than when they started. Over half of the people that start a long term weight loss goal will never reach their goal weight.
How depressing is that?
I refuse to be a statistic and I will be here writing about it as long as I have fight in me. So I have to do something. I chose some things to cheer me up a little, I bought a new jumper which showed me how far I had come, it’s a UK size 16 and I was wearing a 24/26. The trousers I bought are my first ever pair of skinny jeans. They aren’t as small as I would like but I dropped a good number of sizes and I’m happy with that. I got all poshed up at the weekend too which was also fun.
It helped me refresh a little and I’m starting to feel more positive. I’m in a minefield right now, building new relationships and working new friendships while I have restrictions on my social time that not everyone else has. It’s tricky but I guess I’m there to do a job and not to play around. My social life, with grown ups, has been thin over the last few years, working from home, being a mother means nights out are thin on the ground. It’s something I would like to have but it’s not happening just yet, there is time though.
While in the depths of feeling mega sorry for myself I read this post from Mrs Fatass. I can’t begin to explain how much this post voiced my feelings right now. I’m overwhelmed by my life and how my fitness and health fits in to it. Right now it doesn’t seem to fit no matter how much I try and force it. I have to figure out how to study and workout. How to have a social life and a healthy life. Right now it all scares me to death and I’m eating to prove that I can’t do it. So I have an excuse.
I am going to take it one day at a time I’m not going to weigh until next Wednesday and every Wednesday there after. I’m going to tell myself no and that every day does count. I’m trying to take care of myself a little bit every day. I’m positive that I can survive a day, then another. For now. Today is the most important day.