So it’s no secret that I have been struggling to keep a handle on things these last two weeks, thing is the new life is having some teething issues, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and there are a few issues that need to be ironed out to really consider whether it can be continued or not. If it can’t then I’m not sure what I will do going forward. At the moment I’m in a place of limbo, it’s pretty stressful and I’ll be devastated if things have to end before they have even begun. I feel like I’m failing in so many ways at the moment it’s a struggle to keep my head above water. I feel a bit like my future and my dreams are not what I want them to be, and they are falling around me a little.
So with that stress hanging over my head I’ve had some pretty emotional days. It doesn’t help that it’s now the week before shark week too.
So I’ve joined an online diet group. I’ve done it before but a different club, I’m not going to talk to much about the actual club because really thats unimportant until I see some results really. It’s projected weight loss has me at GOAL (140lbs) by July of next year. That boggles my mind a little but it certainly does help motivate me a little. It provides exercise routines which is a nice way to give my gym workouts some structure, I’ll carry on doing the C25K and the NROLFW along side it all too.
Genuinely, I’m proud of what I’ve done this year because I’ve done it by myself but right now I feel I need the structure and the guidance and the crutch if I’m honest. I’m easing in to it over the next few days and then I’ll be hitting it hard. I’ll weigh in on a Wednesday like I planned too and of course I’ll share with you how I’m going. It’s got meal plans and all sorts. Hopefully it will kick start me, I’ve got a 3 month subscription to see how it goals.
I’ve been “maintaining” lazily for well over a month now, it’s not really enough for me, I know I could do better. I want so much to end this year on a high. I’ve had an amazing year so far and this stress is hard but it will pass eventually. I just need to know where I stand and I’ll be able to make plans and move forward with my life.
Hopefully today, sometime after this posts, I’ll be doing some exercise. I’m not sure what, but I want to do some. I need to do something.