Doubts Be Gone…

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So you’ve seen inside my gym bag this week and inside my home gym and now you get to see inside my head…..scary I know!

So if you have been reading for a while you will start to see that my confidence has grown massively over the past two years. I’ve changed and embraced myself more than ever before. During that time, some things have fallen by the wayside and other things have started to become much bigger in my life, people too, many people I spent so much time trying to impress, trying to get them to like me, have so little significance in my life that I barely think of them at all. Other people have truly shown me how much they love the real me and how they not only support my goals but inspire me to achieve them. So much in my life has changed over the past two years. I’ve let my quirky come back, I’ve embraced my geek, I’ve learned not to apologise for my shortcomings just work on them.

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One thing that lingers is my little voice that tells me I can’t do things. I worked epically hard in the gym on Monday. I was still hurting on Wednesday! Just for those who would like to know what my definition of epically hard is, cause it’s relative isn’t it?

Walk 5 minutes warm up
Run/Walk 14 minutes 1 mile

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Squats 3 x 10 reps 35kg bar 60 Second Rest between steps

60 Second Rest

Push Ups (knees down) 10 reps
Seated Row 10 reps 22.5kg

60 Second Rest 

Push Ups (knees down) 10 reps
Seated Row 10 reps 27.5kg

60 Second Rest 

Push Ups (knees down) 10 reps
Seated Row 10 reps 32.5kg

60 Second Rest 

Step Ups (Rebok Step 6 risers) 10 reps L 10 reps R 6kg dumbells
Prone Jacknife 12 reps

60 Second Rest 

Step Ups (Rebok Step 6 risers) 10 reps L 10 reps R 6kg dumbells
Prone Jacknife 12 reps

60 Second Rest 

Step Ups (Rebok Step 6 risers) 10 reps L 10 reps R 6kg dumbells
Prone Jacknife 12 reps

Stretch.

Swim 875m 30 minutes.

So for me, a painful workout and I’ve learnt that you have to stretch after you swim or you suffer.

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When I got home I tried to compare myself to other swimmers, other people’s time and I realised how drastically slow my swim was. It bummed me out a bit if I’m honest. Obviously I want to be better, go faster, and love swimming again. Trouble is for me I always want better. To be better.

So Thursday I hit the gym again, warm up was a 30 minutes hill intervals on the treadmill, followed by a 30 minute cycle which took me 6.35 miles. Then I moved on to my weights routine. Like Mondays I start with one thing, then go on to pairs without a break in between. This time I stretched out MASSIVELY at the end of my workout.

Weights:

Deadlifts 3 x 10 reps 25kg

Rest 60 seconds

Barbell Lifts 10 reps 8kgs
Lat Pulldown Wide Grip 10 reps 32kg

Rest 60 seconds

Barbell Lifts 10 reps 8kgs
Lat Pulldown Wide Grip 10 reps 32kg

Rest 60 seconds

Barbell Lifts 10 reps 8kgs
Lat Pulldown Wide Grip 10 reps 32kg

Rest 60 seconds

Lunges 10 L 10 R reps 10kg
Ball Crunches 12 reps 5kg hand weights

Rest 60 seconds

Lunges 10 L 10 R reps 10kg
Ball Crunches 12 reps 5kg hand weights

Rest 60 seconds

Lunges 10 L 10 R reps 15kg
Ball Crunches 12 reps 5kg hand weights

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I look at what I achieved and still there is a part of me that wonders, is a triathlon realistic next year? Then there is a part of me that loves what I do in the gym, how it makes me feel and how it’s changing my body (if not my weight all that much at the moment).

Then I saw this, and I shared it on my facebook page, and the doubts were there but they were quieter…This is Jackie. She’s a triathlete.

Is insecurity a good thing? Does it drive you forward or hold you back? I’m not decided yet.

4 thoughts on “Doubts Be Gone…

  1. So much of what you write, I could have written. The amazing thing about Tri is that you are only racing yourself, no one else on the course knows what your start time was – they are too busy racing themselves.

    My experiance was so positive. Lots of encouragement from other competitors and the crowd clapping like mad. Not at all like I had pictured and feared!

    I found these two books immensley helpful when I was deciding if I could achieve a triathlon:
    - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Slow-Fat-Triathlete-Athletic-Dreams/dp/1569244677/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344614087&sr=8-1
    - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Triathlon-Made-Easy-McDonald-Buckingham/dp/1843404338/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b

    The other thing that strikes me is that you have sooo much fitness. Those are two impressive gym sessions! I would be happy with either of those in a week :-) All you need to know is that you can swim, then cycle and then run in one continuous session.. If you can do that, time goals aside, you can do a Triathlon.

    The pressure comes if you decide to do a second one – then you have a time to beat!

    I love your blog x

  2. I think insecurity can be both. If you are not sure whether you can do something, it might make you work harde to reach your goal. It also might discourage you. It’s up to you.

  3. I think insecurity needs to be differentiated from determination. I definitely have a lot of insecurities – but that doesn’t stop me from going forward and trying. That determined voices has to be louder than the insecure one … and we’ve just got to keep believing that anything is possible if we try hard enough!

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