Another fabulous guest poster for y’all, here is Heather Landis from MyBlissPoint.com giving her take on weight loss for you. Be nice

My name is Heather Landis and my blog is MyBlissPoint.com  I have been fat off and on for the majority of my life and at 35, almost 36, I am done with fad diets and the yo-yo rollercoaster I have been on.  My whole journey started with the simple desire to stop my compulsive/binge eating, then evolved into a quest for knowledge about our food system, and then transitioned into a weight/food discovery and recovery.  I have been a recovering compulsive/binge eater for about a year now.  I say recovering because I believe the addiction to food is much like the addiction to alcohol and drugs.  For me, every day is a choice to stay in recovery, and some days every bite is a choice to stay in recovery.

A while ago I went to see a dietician because I felt my food choices where holding me back a bit.  I was not completely sold on what the dietician had to say, because I am leery of the FDA plate thing, and she was sort of on their band wagon.  She gave me enough though, that she was helpful in some ways.  I am the type of person that if something is not working I want to know why; that’s why I went to the dietician in the first place.  If I am not losing weight, I want to know why.  How can I fix the problem if I do not know the root of the problem?  I am also the type of person that doesn’t lie to myself about the part I am playing in my weight lose.  I know I am a self sabotager and I can admit when I am the root of my problem.  Because I am like this, I have a really hard time wrapping my head around people who aren’t.

I was at the gym recently with a friend who has been battling her weight for some time and is always talking about how much she wants to lose weight, how crappy she feels all the time, and how nothing works for her.  I suggested she meet with a trainer and/or a dietician to see if they could offer any advice.  She thought maybe if she had a gym partner that would help, so I volunteered.  Everything is easier with a partner right!?  We went to the gym a handful of times and I saw what the problem was; this is where I encouraged her to see a trainer.  When she flat out refused to see a trainer I just told her in the nicest, but bluntest way I could muster, she wasn’t losing weight because what she was doing was not exercise.  You can’t get on the treadmill and waltz at the pace you would through the mall on a lazy Sunday.  Now before you burn me at the stake you should know this girl is probably only 50 pounds overweight and used to play sports, so she has the ability to work out just as hard as I do; we are basically in the same physical boat.  I also watched her on four separate occasions walk that treadmill for 30 minutes and not break a sweat.  Problem!  She finally met with a trainer and that guy kicked her hinder six ways from Sunday, and guess what – she started losing weight.  She met with the trainer twelve times and lost weight, but now she has gained it all back and has decided that she will only be able to lose weight with a trainer.  That logic makes no sense to me, but you can’t convince her otherwise.  Absolutely, no accountability for her role in her present situation.

I have another friend who probably only has twenty pounds to lose and want to lose it really bad.  She works out five to six days a week and just can’t seem to lose the weight.  She eats terribly and my guess is that’s the problem, but again, no accountability for her part in the whole thing.  She will say, “I probably shouldn’t eat this,” or “This is going straight to my thighs,” but doesn’t seem to be able to make the connection.

I’ll be honest, this behavior makes me a little nuts.  My friends and I like to say own your needs.  What does own your needs mean?  If you need to go to bed and everyone else wants to stay up, own your needs and unapologetically go to bed.  If someone is constantly making you feel small, own your needs and unapologetically cut them out.  If you feel like crap because you are overweight and out of shape, own your needs and unapologetically take care of yourself.   Whatever your need may be, own it.  Once you own it, and I mean truly own it, you become unstoppable.

“Something happens when you stop running your familiar programs about fear and deficiency and emptiness.  I don’t know what to call this turn of events, or the freshness that follows it, but I know what it feels like: it feels like relief.” – Geneen Roth

Being accountable for the part you play in your own success or failure is hard, but is also a necessary evil if you really want to come out on the other side.  To come out on the other side of my compulsive/binge eating, I had to admit and confront some horrible and painful truths about myself.  It was not fun and it took a long time to get where I am now, but it was necessary.  I hate to work out and can come up with fifty-two excuses in about three seconds as to why I can’t go to the gym.  That is the part I currently play in my own failure.  I have been able to get my eating and my food choices to a healthy and manageable place.  This is the part I play in my own success.

What part do you currently play?