Fat Stories

Everyone has a story about why they got fat. I didn’t get to this size without a few reasons, excuses and misguided ideas. I watch the Biggest Loser US and really love the show, it’s inspiring and some amazing things happen to the people on it. Watching it tonight I felt so sad because I recognised myself in so many of them. They were talking about how they started to gain weight in primary school and that it has dominated their lives ever since. Some had never been in love or had a partner at the age of 29, one was always the funny one, one just couldn’t face the humiliation of going outside anymore. It was heartbreaking and it’s why I hate it when people say “Do more eat less” because it really isn’t that simple. The mind has more power over the body than we give it credit for and it has dominated my issues with food. My mind has always been my failure.

Since January 2010 I have been systematically working on changing my my mind. Teaching it to be more focussed on the solution and how to get to it. Giving my life goals and targets to work towards makes me so much more dedicated. Every year for as long as I can remember I have decided that I wouldn’t be fat by the end of the year, and every year I’ve either stayed the same or gotten larger. This time I focussed on what I needed to do to my way of thinking first, I spent 8/9 months working on being more positive and seeing the good in life. I think I’ve done pretty well. When I felt I could manage it I started Slimming World feeling the need for the group support and something more accountable than here. Slimming World had worked for me many years ago and also my friend writes and amazing recipe blog full of Slimming World stuff so it’s the easy option in a way. It’s been straitforward since then. I feel motivated and invested in what I’m doing because my mind is too. I have used hypnotherapy and continue to do so as it’s been a big help, it keeps me relaxed and focussed on my goals. I’m currently designing something else as well but it’ll remain top secret for now!

The biggest thing my 9 month focus on positive thinking has brought to me is honesty. About myself, about those around me, about those in my family and friends and my relationships with them, about my happiness. It has been quite a revelation, at times I’ve made misjudgements and sometimes I have made the best decisions of my life. Decisions that have shaped me in to a stronger more resolute person. I am much more confident in my decision making and my ability to succeed and that’s been reinforced by the good decisions. The poor decisions have reinforced that I’m human! I’ve stopped making excuses as to why I can’t exercise and started doing it, I’ve been proved wrong, I can do it and I can like it too.

I’ve talked about a lot about the phrase that has led me to despair many times “Eat Less, Move More”. Well, I’ve beaten my fear of it. I’ve stopped thinking “it’s more complicated than that” because that’s held me back SO many times. Wallowing doesn’t help. Eating the right things, moving more helps. So I’m doing it. No excuses.

My Key Words for 2011?

Hard Work

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