I always think that when you write a blog you always have to put your heart and soul into it. For me, a lot of things have changed so so much over the past 2 years. I’ve changed. I feel like I’m writing an “It’s not you, it’s me” letter to my blog but I kinda am I guess, it’s also an “theres someone else letter”.
First the its-not-you-it’s-me. This blog has had a focus on weight loss, it from the start was going to document my changing body, and my body has changed massively, it started off here,
Now it’s more here
Is it where I want it to be? No, but I’m a lot further forward than I was, an that’s post Christmas gain too. What I’ve been thinking, for around 6 months actually is, that this blog, while its come a long way, just isn’t helping any more, it isn’t about what I’m about anymore, it doesn’t suit who I am now. Thing is I really have changed. I’ve gradually become myself again. I’ve stripped back the layers of protection that I’d built around me and I’m allowing my partner, my friends and my family to protect me and support me now and the barriers that used to be there don’t need to be anymore because I don’t need them anymore. Life is different for me now and so is my perspective. Life doesn’t feel like a war and nor does weight loss because it’s just not my main focus anymore. I’ve finally got to the genuine point in my life where losing weight is an indicator that I’m getting the rest of my lifestyle right and that’s more important. I’ve not made resolutions this year. I’ve not felt the need to because nothings changed at all. I still want the same things I’ve always wanted and that kinda makes me sad so I’ve not wanted to write them down. What I am doing is making a plan, step by step, month by month. Being here allowed me to explore a lot of things, lock them up in boxes and leave them behind bit by bit. My baggage is here. What it also did is open me up to a world of people, it taught me not all people are close minded, that they aren’t all judgemental, even when they think they aren’t, that they aren’t all full of shit that some people genuinely care. Some people I’ve met through blogging have become my very best friends. I can’t even begin to explain how much I think of what this blog and those people have done for me, but recently coming back here, writing here, being in this space has been like coming home to a bad relationship which I know is over. I’ve moved on and it doesn’t help to be here any more but I come here because I’ve not been ready to cut the ties yet. I’ve realised though, those ties have become more than this blog, they exist far outside of this blog. When I read Fit and Free Emilys reasons for leaving blogging it was like a light switched on in my head, we are so alike, being here kept me focussed on weight loss instead of on my life, a life which was giving me some pretty amazing things lately.
I’ve so many exciting things ahead of me in 2015 and this is partly where the I’ve-found-someone-else part comes in. Oliver, Charlie and I have started a new project together, Gingerkicks.com (A mix of ginger the food and a nod to ollys hair, and kicks like trainers and the kick from chilli). It feels so much like me right now and although it’s in its infancy that means its so great, it feels like the me that I buried long ago, the positive me, the one that doesn’t need assurance, doesn’t need validation, I just want to live my life and share what makes me happy.
So this is goodbye to Weight Wars, because it made me happy, it pushed me through unhappiness to happiness, I learnt to believe in myself here, I learnt to let go of things here, and that’s been a lesson which has been one of the most important of my life.
If you want to stay in my touch, believe me I want you to and I want to be in touch with you if I’m not already, please follow me
If you want to follow Gingerkicks, and I want you to so much, then we are all over the web,
Thank you so much, for helping me move forward so much in my life. It’s been such a journey, an amazing journey which has brought me a very long way and to a place where I can honestly say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.